For the last few days (or maybe I just haven’t read the news in a few days) I’ve been hearing that Cindy Sheehan might be running for congress against Nancy Pelosi. Sheehan declared that if Pelosi doesn’t introduce articles of impeachment in the next two weeks she will be running for office as an independent against Pelosi. Fortunately, I’m not the only one who thinks this is more than a little absurd (OmniNerd here and McBlogger here.) This rather silly bit of ‘news‘ needs to go away but I’d like to give my timeline of the events that would need to transpire for the recently retired Cindy to win, then what would happen after she wins.
June 10, 2007: Cindy Sheehan goes out to her local gas station and purchases a lottery ticket.
June 11, 2007: She wins. Lets pretend that she wins the super-duper jackpot and gets $300 million. I’ll be nice, lets pretend only ~50% goes away in taxes. She’s stuck with $150 million.
October 1, 2008: After months of non-stop campaigning, CNN reports (after a healthy financial contribution from Sheehan) that she has developed the ability to cure cancer with her tears.
November 3, 2008: After bribing hundreds of state officials, it is revealed that Pelosi’s paperwork didn’t come through- she’s not on the ballot.
November 4, 2008: Sheehan wins the election by only a few dozen votes after most of Pelosi’s base vote for the no-name Republican candidate.
January 20, 2009: Sheehan sworn into office. Establishes Camp Casey on the steps of Congress to protest their refusal to swear her in early. Once she is sworn in, she protests their refusal to heed her earlier protest.
January 21, 2009: Sheehan files articles of impeachment against President Bush ex post facto. Newly-elected President Clinton is confused.
February 2009 – November 2010: Sheehan doesn’t get anything passed, but certainly has a great deal of fun protesting inside Congress instead of outside.
November 2010: Pelosi wins her old seat back in a landslide.
I can’t wait for Sheehan to run! Imagine the media circus that will last an entire 7 days!